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Thursday, June 05, 2008

Do you hear what I hear?

Because so many asked . . . yes, the barbecue was a success. The mommies (plus one token daddy) came. They laughed, they played, they drank, they ate, they chattered. They basked in the sunshine while my gorgeous,well-behaved cocker spaniel sat quietly in the corner of our yard, looking longingly at the burgers and dogs on the barbie, but showing such self-restraint that he looked almost like a statue. And while Thing 1 and Thing 2 played well with the other children, sharing their toys and playthings, laughing and running around the backyard while smiling the entire time.

O.K., I am partially lying. Everything from "gorgeous, well-behaved cocker . . . " didn't happen. The dog went nuts. He barked incessantly and just about decapitated himself from pulling so hard on his rope to see if he could reach some hot dog scraps. But he did appear cute, and all who came appeared to love him. Pete's preschool buddies were indeed well behaved, they were happy and played well with others. My children? Not so much. Thing 2 (still reeling from having given up his naps at 18 MONTHS OLD) was a basket case and completely tired. He a) fell off the slide and hurt himself, and b) became injured in a sword battle. Who knew preschoolers yielded so many plastic swords? Thing 1 was in tip top condition. Hyper beyond all belief and ear plugs in full force. I mean, what other reason would there be for him to not listen to one single word I spoke to him all afternoon??????

I actually had to google it, I was so upset. tells me what to do when my preschooler ignores me. I am to be "clear and realistic" in my directions and in my expectations. Check. "Don't run into the neighbour's yard." Simple, clear, direct, and imperative to safety.

They also suggest you "follow through" on what you say you are going to do. Check. After three warnings, and sending 7 children sprinting through my next door neighbour's garden, I pick Pete up and take him for a time out. He laughs at me.

"Motivate your preschooler" comes next. Try not to say "because I said so". Check. What about "there are bylaws that exist stating you should generally not allow underage children to run rampant throughout the neighbourhood"? Please Paul, fix the fence this weekend!!!

"Use alternatives to no." Check. "Please stay in our yard, Pete."

And last, but not least:
"If your preschooler seems to ignore you more often than he listens, talk to his pediatrician about the problem. The doctor may recommend a hearing test or other developmental evaluations."

OH! Now why didn't I think of that? He's DEAF! Both Thing 1 and Thing 2 are! Time to fix them up with a couple o' hearing aids and we'll be just like new.

Checklist for next year's preschool barbecue . . . burgers, hotdogs, drinks, salad, ice cream sandwiches, sun hats, sunscreen, dog muzzle and HEARING AIDS.



One Crazy Chick! said...

Glad it was a success!

Sorry that the kids were DEAF!

When oldest suddenly becomes deaf I suddenly am very glad I love him. Because if I didn't? Who knows what would happen?

Glad you survived.

Simply Shannon said...

Hello! Thanks for stopping by my blog!
Glad to hear that your party was a success. You are a brave woman (either that or slightly deranged).
After working with 2-5 year old children for well over 10 years now, I can assure you that there seems to be a rather large epidemic of hearing problems. I can't believe that we haven't seen anything about it in the news yet. I mean really- 2 whole nations full of deaf preschoolers and no one thinks that's worth mentioning?
Happy Blogging!

Rebecca said...

lol about the boys being deaf Shans....I have 4 deaf children, though strangely enough they hear extremely well when I mention things they like.
Funny how it is like that huh.

Glad the BBQ went well otherwise! :)

Liz said...

Try whispering, "ice cream" next time to get his attention. Just kidding, you made me LOL, maybe I should take my two things in as well. Of course, in my house, I am "not their friend, anymore". AHH, the fun of 4 and 2 year olds. Congrats on the b-b-que, crazy lady ;-)

Donna M said...

Glad to hear it went relatively well. Do you think the boys may have inherited their hearing problems from their father? Or maybe their grandfather? I understand there is a lot of it going around! :)

Jan said...

*SNARF*... tea spews onto keyboard

preaching to the choir sister; "hearing aids", I LOVE it!

You brave woman. I am glad that the BBQ was a success, we were keeping our fingers crossed for you all morning.

Unknown said...

Sounds logical to me:) Could be a "man" thing too.......selective hearing......I know Mark has this issue:o)

amanda said...

oh babycenter. it's a love hate relationship isn't it??

love your header btw!!

thanks for stopping by my world :)

Tricia said...

OMG you had me rolling. But now I'm depressed. I thought this hearing problem was a "phase". You're telling me it will get no better 1.5 years from now??? Ahhh! Sometimes I feel invisible in my own house because neither DH nor Sam can hear me. Glad it was a success despite a couple bumps in the road! Thanks for the link yesterday! Checked it out - cool! tk

Jenny said...

what mark said..boys have selective hearing! my husband is the worst! you definitly are brave!

Amanda said...

OMG Shannon! Bethnay must be deaf, too!!! I've never thought of that before! You seriously had me laughing out loud girl. You are brave and so uber talented to host that bbq!

dougnlarry said...

I've been contemplating getting Gracie's hearing checked lately. It bites that they can so easily ignore us. I'm glad the BBQ was a success. :)

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