Need a Crash Course on Sleep

For a long time, I used to just think that some people were *lucky*. You know, they had kids that napped well. Napped for long periods. Napped whenever and wherever. Napped twice a day. Napped until they were four. And it's really not that out-of-the-ordinary, I don't think, because I personally know a number of mothers with children such as this.

But my university education is proving worthwhile and I'm now learning/figuring out that the inability of my children to nap well is likely my own fault. I mean, there is no statistical possibility that a woman would have THREE children who all give up their second nap by nine months old, right? That's right. All three Things stopped napping twice a day - once in the morning and once in the afternoon - at least three months before their first birthday.

Then, to make matters worse, Thing 1 gave up his afternoon nap shortly after he turned two. That saddened me to no end, because I had a baby at home at the time, and desperately needed the break that used to be Thing 1's nap time. As any sane mother would, I strictly enforced "quiet time" in lieu of a nap, but as the months wore on quiet time's length shrank. And shrank further. Until I was lucky to get 15 minutes of him staying in his room . . . not even being quiet.

Thing 2 gave up his afternoon nap right around the time he started climbing out his crib. Around his second birthday - and before this time he teased us with a couple months of napping only two or three times a week. Before I knew it, I had a three year old and a two year old - both not napping in the afternoon. By this time, as life would have it, I was pregnant with Thing 3 and reading all about Witchcraft so I could cast a spell on the little fetus to ensure she would nap every single day until she got her driver's license.

And here we are with Thing 3 just past nine months and only napping once a day. I try vigorously to ensure she naps between 12:30 and 3:00 p.m. - from when we return from the dreaded bus stop up until the time we need to return to said bus stop.

Any parent will be bobbing their head up and down in agreement when I state that it's all about the sleep when you have kids. How much, when, how, where, etc. I think my sister thought I was nuts when Thing 2 was a newborn and I was strictly religious about Thing 1's naps . . . until she herself became a mother of - you got it, CHILDREN who need to nap. Your life revolves around the naps, for a couple of valid reasons. Firstly, you need the break. Whether you clean and tidy, cook, read a magazine, have a shower or DO NOTHING - as a mother you with no uncertainly need the break. But secondly, and sometimes more crucial than the break, is the crazy/nasty little person your child can become if he/she has not had enough sleep. Don't tell me you haven't looked at the clock, heard a peep from the crib, and panicked, realizing the baby needs two hours sleep, and not thirty minutes - and this just won't do because you know you are in for an afternoon of HELL if they wake up early??

So, I mostly joke about it because I have to. Otherwise, what would I do? Feel anger and resentment towards my mommy friends chillin' out in the afternoons while their little one(s) sleep? Not really an option . . .

I'm also finding myself in a real bind lately because I just don't know how to get my kids to sleep. I need a rule book. I want someone to tell me what to do - and I want it to be easy. Because, I sort of feel like I've earned it.

Right now - and this wasn't always the case, but it is as of late - Thing 3 needs to be nursed to fall asleep. So many of the experts recommend this . . . and what a farce. A joke. Did it really take me three children to figure out that if you nurse a baby to sleep for long enough, that is the only way she will be able to fall asleep? We went through this with Thing 2 already. I nursed him to sleep most nights until he was one. We then had to endure a brief stint of "let him cry it out" because I simply couldn't handle it anymore. I'm only human. I needed the ability to be free in the evenings if I wanted to be, and felt I had a right to a little time on my own at bedtime. Time I felt of which I had been robbed each afternoon because I no longer had a napping older son. I don't remember it lasting all that long, or being all that traumatic, but I do remember the pain and heartache it caused me listening to my little one cry out for his mommy before he fell asleep.

And here we go again. Thing 3's naps are not always at a consistent time because she often falls asleep when I nurse her - and then I place her in her crib (if we are home). I nurse her to sleep every single night (because she still will not take a bottle, or a sippy cup) and then lay her in her crib. The next added bonus of parenting fun is the fact that she is now waking up after I lay her in the crib - and some nights staying up for another hour or two.

I just can't take it. I can't do it. I need that time in the evening to write my blog, read, watch TV, make cards or do whatever I need to keep me sane. I absolutely love breastfeeding, I nursed Thing 1 and 2 for at least a year each and I assume I will do the same with Thing 3. But I can't stand the feeling of being shackled to my baby forever, especially at nap and bed time. I feel like I'm doing a million things wrong, and the fifty parenting books on my book shelf aren't giving me any of the answers I need.

How do you get your kids to sleep? Do you have consistent nap times and how do you enforce them?