I Don't Need You, Mommy

Today something happened that made me realize my little boy had grown up, just a little bit.

The four of us - Things 3, 2, 1, and myself - trudged home from the bus stop after picking Thing 1 up after school. Thing 1 and Thing 2 bounced across our still-green front lawn with excitement and anticipation, because they know what happens after we come home from the bus stop.

They scurried in the house so that I could take care of business. I needed to feed Thing 3, and I needed to get them a healthy snack. We grabbed a couple of bananas and they sat and gobbled them up. I fed Thing 3, changed her wet diaper, and headed to the front door. The other two Things were already there, waiting for me, with their shoes on.

"Hurry, mommy, hurry, let's go, let's go!" was all I could hear as I scrambled to grab Leah a warm sweater that coordinated with what she was wearing.

And off we headed, to walk the 50 or so yards it takes us to get to the park across the street from our house. We were in luck and all the neighbourhood children were already there. It was a mild and sunny day, so parents and day care providers alike were making the most of the best autumn day we'd had this week. I could see from a quick glance that all the boys' little friends were there, and I knew they'd be thrilled.

As we approached the spot where I would park our red wagon and make our "home base", I noticed the boys that Thing 1 likes to play with were off a bit in the distance, in an area covered with trees. They often like to play Star Wars or some other game and chase each other around.

I looked at Pete and said, "would you like me to walk you over to the other boys?".

I said this because this is something I did most days. For the first couple weeks after school started, I helped ease him into this situation each afternoon, and had even on several occasions gone over and mentioned to the other boys that Pete wanted to play with them.

Today my heart sank a little bit as my four-and-a-half year old little boy looked back at me with his big blue-as-the-ocean eyes and answered,

"No, it's ok, mommy, I'll go over there all by myself."

And he did, go over there all by himself. His confidence was glowing as he joined in the game already in progress and started running around with boys who were easily two to four years older than him. They included him, like they do every day, and everyone seemed to have a perfect afternoon.

One of the other moms there today witnessed what had happened and said to me, "it's hard when they don't need you anymore, isn't it?".

She hit the nail right on the head.

So often my life is so rushed and busy, I'm often moving at an alarming rate and never really *get* when older people tell me to "slow down and enjoy THEM, because they grow up so fast".

Today at the park it truly became a reality for me. They really do grow up so fast. And there is my big boy off playing with the big kids, all by himself.